I am frustrated. I feel like I have no time for doing my assignments left, and at the same time I feel utterly frozen in time. It's like being on a medieval rack, while neither being able to move forward or accomplish things I need to.
What am I waiting for?
-Thesis proposal submitting and approval
-Word from Cambridge
-Acceptance of an abstract for a conference paper
-Three TA positions I've applied for
These things will absolutely shape the next year for me. I know what will happen for the next two weeks - after that, it all depends on these things. I can't hurry it up, nor can I enjoy the time leading to it, since that is filled with doing assignments that feel like eating chalk. The assignments are not bad, I'm just already looking past them. I don't even care about the actual answer, I just want to know one way or the other. I've been left in limbo with Cambridge since October...
Maybe I need to take a page from my father's book: be all here, now. Or maybe that was Jesus: "who of you, by worrying, can turn one hair black or white?" "each day's evil is enough".
So, I'll put my blinders on and get to work: Hebrew, another history gobbet, and my cosmic fall paper. It's all I can do.